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August 12th, 2008Well, it’s my 25th birthday. Still a baby by most accounts, though by these same accounts I’ve always appeared to be older (though, those who know me will agree I have the hint of florid maturity of an 8 year old). After 5-ish years of flouncing around and laughing at life, I feel suddenly that the phase is just about over. It’s not the end of a rebellion; it’s just that I’ve done it, and now I’m finished. Similar to an essay David Sedaris has written about quitting smoking. He didn’t quit: he’d just finished his allotment.
I remember one night when I was about 6 years old I ran out of my bedroom and said to my father, “dad, I don’t want to die.” He asked who had been threatening me or who had told me that it was about to happen. I said, no one, I just don’t want to die; I had realized that evening I wasn’t going to last forever. I had a similar moment a couple of nights ago when I jumped out of my bed panicking about my mortality.
Having taken stock of my life at my new age, I feel better than I have been. I don’t have a degree, but when I get it, it will be from the nationally recognized Indiana University Jacobs School of Music. I also have a good job with WFIU as an announcer (among other things). I have great friends and other useful relationships. All in all, everything will be alright. It is alright.
